


my shoulders are strong

by pvwork



Category: Free!
Genre: Athletes, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Middle School, Rival Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 14:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2028468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pvwork/pseuds/pvwork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A quality rival is hard to find.</p>
            </blockquote>





	my shoulders are strong

There’s this one photo, maybe you’ve seen it. 

Ryan Lochte and a reporter are on the left; Michael Phelps is on the right. It’s some time in the late afternoon judging by the way the sun’s rays catch dark and flat along the outline of the tall trees in the background. The sports reporters hover around the edges of the pool like crows, trying to snatch up a tasty morsel, a good soundbite.

Lochte is standing in front of one such reporter; he’s probably talking about his diamond grills. Phelps comes up from the direction the camera is pointed at. He crouches down low and slaps a hand against Lochte’s leg, and it looks like the world’s most awkward high five captured during the filming of an unfortunate mockumentary. 

Phelps doesn’t say a word, but why should he have to, when every word of every answer Phelps has ever given in an interview pertaining to the subject of his so-called rival can be pared down to a single simple sentence: _He makes me better_.

Nanase Haruka does no such favors for Matsuoka Rin.

Yamazaki Sousuke knows this to be a fact because he’s sitting under a bright sky with Matsuoka Gou next to him, bento boxes balanced precariously on their knees, and a Rin-sized hole between them as they eat in near silence.

“Any news?” Sousuke asks. 

“Nope. You?” 

“None.” 

They sit in silence for a beat, huddled in what poor shade they could find under the noontime sun, and grin ruefully at each other. 

“I guess he’s just busy,” Sousuke says. He tries for comforting and Gou smiles at him, however dimly. He’ll have known her for six years once this coming summer rolls around and envelops them in clear, cutting heat that will bounce off the whitewashed walls of buildings and press peoples closer to their ac’s. Living on the coast offers little reprieve.

“It’s like,” Gou pauses as she collects herself. “It’s like I lost two important people in a short span of time.”

Sousuke chews slowly while her words tumble around in his head like frantic acrobats. It’s not easy to forget that they’re the ones that Rin left behind like they’ve always feared. Gou’s words launch themselves into the air, the space between two trapeze artists close, and Sousuke’s thoughts catch hers. 

That summer, Sousuke had stood for hours at the sink washing cherries methodically, rolling them in his hands one by one to clean them best. Each time the Matsuokas had come to visit, he had washed another full bowl. Each drop of water hovering hesitantly along the rim of the waterspout was like the unshed tears living constantly at the edges of Rin’s and Gou’s eyes as they went through each day.

When Rin had talked, Gou’s eyes had never wavered as she looked at him.

It was like neither of them had dared to look away for fear that Rin might just jump right off a starting block and straight into a life that they’d never see, never know, never be able to follow after. It might have been the kind of block that was only steady enough for one great push. Then, it would collapse, and the pool would drain and in that water would be Rin. 

It’s a race between you and the clock when you’re in the pool, not you and a ghost, Sousuke thinks now.

“How are you handling chasing your own dreams?” Sousuke asks once Gou is mostly done eating. 

Gou sets her chopsticks down and Sousuke gestures that she’s got few grains of rice sticking to the edges of her mouth. She swipes them away quickly and says, “It’s going well. I’ve read a lot of articles about how to eat right and train right, so when he comes back, I’ll be able to make him an Olympic athlete in no time!” 

“That’s great.”

“I’m learning a lot about muscles and the ways they pull at bones and joints all on my own.”

Sensing that she’s not quite finished, Sousuke stays quiet. Gou stabs at the last few pieces of rice. She gnaws on her chopsticks in an irritated way and adds vehemently, “And I didn’t even have to move halfway across the world to do it.”

“Right.”

“Do you know what he wanted to do last year? He wanted to fly to Shanghai to see Worlds.”

“That would have been quite a sight to see.” 

Gou makes an annoyed noise, one of those quirks she picked up from Rin and never really put back down. It’s this ‘tch’ sound that has her tongue knocking against the back of her teeth in displeasure and her mouth pulling downwards in a way that toes the line between a frown and a sneer.

“He can be so selfish sometimes. The first time we hear from him in ages and not even a ‘how’s it going’ before he’s asking for something. Mom had to tell him he couldn’t go, and he hasn’t contacted me since.” She bites her lip and Sousuke can tell that she’s upset just thinking about it so he presses his shoulder into hers, rattling her grip on her chopsticks and her bento box.

“Everyone knows some things are better seen on tv. You wouldn’t be able to see the muscles on some of those swimmers if it weren’t for those interviewer’s cameras zooming in the way they do.” 

Gou puts a delicate hand to her cheek and sparkles appear in her eyes as she extols the wonders of each muscle in the human chest. The same feverish light shines in her eyes as it does in Rin’s when he’s talking about swimming, the way the water feels, the way kicks should be done in time to every breath. Sousuke get’s a little lost around pectoralis minor, but he’d managed through trapezius and pectoralis major. 

Their lunch break ends when the school bell screams and they stand, dusting themselves off and turning to face the blazing sun. 

“Next week?” Gou asks, and Sousuke nods. 

“Count me in.” 

“Right, I’ll be seeing you!” she calls as she rushes to class. The way light shines through a glass of red wine, the kind his father has on certain evenings, is how it moves through Gou's hair, how it moves through Rin's.

Sousuke heads to his own class. Guilt makes each of his steps drag against the checkered tiles under his feet. 

If only he had been a better friend to Rin and stopped arguing so much over everything. They'd fought so much over what was the right way to be inspired when swimming in a relay. If things had worked out differently, Rin might have stayed on this coast, not flown all the way to Australia to stare out at the Pacific from another one. 

Sousuke harbors no hard feelings towards Nanase, but he’s thought long and hard about what rivals should be to each other and has ultimately decided that Nanase is not a very good one for Rin. 

Rin’s probably hit a wall in Australia, the kind that has you curled up in a ball on your bed after practice wondering why you exist if not to swim and swim well. He’s suffering alone in a distant country, no friends, no family, and certainly no rivals to keep him company. 

Is this what rivals are supposed to drive each other to? To a state where swimming is impossible? 

In that case, Rin might not be a good rival to Nanase either.

Sousuke hasn’t seen him at any swimming competitions in a while. Iwatobi is a small town. When people who can usually be relied upon to do the same thing day in and day out, suddenly stop, something strange has happened. Sousuke’s seen the way Nanase swims, and there is no way a boy like that would just give up swimming without a good reason.

The rest of the school day rushes by and Sousuke heads towards the pool with only moderation on his mind. He’ll climb walls alone, and he’ll swim for himself in the pool. That will be enough for him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Tie My Hands by Lil Wayne. ;)


End file.
